This Place is a Dump

Rating: R
Genre: Action/Sci-Fi
Release Date: 10/23/1998

Soldier is, unsurprisingly, about a Soldier. But not just any soldier, he is the greatest super-soldier, among nineteen others, trained from birth to kill anything that walks. But after thirty something years he becomes obsolete and is unceremoniously thrown out in the garbage, literally!

The soldier, Todd 3465 (Kurt Russell), is dumped on Arcadia 234, a waste disposal planet. Luckily for Todd whoever decided to toss their junk also thought it was a good idea to do so on a life sustaining planet. He’s on his own for a little bit before he finds a small civilization on this planet. It’s here where he tries to understand human nature and emotions, something he was never taught as a child. He also finds out that green snakes are dangerous creatures on this planet.

Soldier was written by David Peoples who also co-wrote Blade Runner. He touted Soldier as the sidesquel/spiritual successor to Blade Runner but the threads are so thin you will probably not notice. If anything this film is like Universal Soldier meets Earth Girls Are Easy. The film is full of eye rolling corny moments right from the start. In the beginning Todd fights this new improved super soldier, Cain 607, and manages to tear his eye out. Later in the movie we see Cain again, but this time with a fake/replacement eye. Oooh spooky! Of course the director tries to place extra emphasis on the eye. Ok we get it!

There is this whole other weak Snake subplot going through the middle of the film. We see a snake in a garden with Sandra (played by the lovely Connie Nielsen I might add), we see a snake in the house, we see the snake later yet again, and then at the end these dangerous snakes are able to bring down one of these super soldiers. Enough with the snakes already. I’d also like to add that Kurt Russell doesn’t have many lines for most of the film. Add on the fact that there is a mute kid and there isn’t a whole lot of acting going on.

The problem with having Kurt Russell not talk is he’s a great actor, he needs to say something, but when he does say something boy does he deliver. I just wish there were more moments where Kurt Russell could shine but unfortunately it seems like most of the movie was poorly written. I will say that the second half is stronger than the first half. If you want to see Kurt Russell ripped as hell and kicking ass in a poor man’s Universal Soldier, then be sure to give this movie a look.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.